Hyperbolic Teens, Vol. 1, Number 1

Setting: Immediately after school, my room, in front of computer.

Wonderful Student w/Mild Complex: I don't even want to see. I'm sure it's a "C". Or an "F".

SMP: Whatever. Let's pull it up. Oh, yeah - what a horrible grade: a "90".

Student's Helpful Friend: (to Mild Complex Girl) So what did he say you have?

Mild Complex Girl: A "90". Gaaahhhh. I might as well go to the retard class. Mr. P. hates me.

SMP : I do not; I love you. But you are underperforming on your tests so far. Both of you, actually.

Mild Complex Girl: See! You don't think I work hard.

Helpful Friend: I think you need to have some organized study games for us the day before the test.

SMP: (ignoring Helpful Friend's comment) When did I say you didn't work hard?

Mild Complex Girl's Boyfriend: (as he enters room, deciding to stir up whatever controversy he perceives) Don't let her tell you what to do Mr. P. Tell her to shut up and pay attention in class!

Mild Complex Girl: (slapping boyfriend on arm) Hush! (then getting refocused on the issue at hand) Mr. P. already said I'm not working hard.

SMP: She is totally putting words in my mouth. (then, as brilliant idea hits him, he pretends to pull boyfriend aside for a sotto voce chat) Does she ever try to put words in your mouth?

Boyfriend: Oh yeah. All the time.

Mild Complex Girl: (slapping boyfriend on arm again) What! I do not! Bye Mr. P. (storms out with boyfriend firmly in grasp, and in the doghouse).

SMP: (says nothing audible, but clearly is smug about his deft deflection of teenage ire away from himself and towards that poor, dumb boyfriend).