MySpace Wars

As the school year winds down, allow me to return to my favorite topic of the destructive capacity MySpace, Facebook, et. al. have when it comes to teens (who already have enough such capacity simply by existing). But let me first introduce our MySpace warriors, to help you keep things straight:

Girl A
Boy A

Girl B

Boy C

Friend D

Miscellaneous Friends Of Whatever Leftover Variables You Choose

O.k., got it? Then here goes.

Once upon a time, Boy A and Girl A dated seriously - far too seriously - for two years. But over the past year, Boy A had an "on the side" hankering for Girl B, who did not discourage the hankering, and in fact made out with Boy A at least once at a party last fall that Girl A did not attend . Well, recently Girl B came back from a senior lake outing with several pictures of herself and Boy A cozying up at the lake, while wearing their bathing suits (bikini in her case). The pictures were posted to her MySpace page. This led to a break-up between Boy A and Girl A, until Boy A, as usual, extricated himself from trouble by begging for forgiveness and blaming the whole matter on Girl B.

So, Girl A took him back, and Girl B did him the favor of taking down the pictures. But for several days, Girl A loudly declared to everyone that Girl B was a slut, slut, slut. She said this so often that Girl B, tired of hearing her name sullied, had a little talk with Boy A. She told him he better shut his little girlfriend up, or she would spill the beans about his pursuit of her over the past year. After a couple more days, Boy A read the writing on the wall, and confessed all to Girl A. This led to another, and final break up with a devastated Girl A.

Enter Friend D, who proceeded to take Girl A under her wing a little and befriend her. Friend D's boyfriend, it turns out, has a good buddy (Boy C) who is currently available, and kind of has the hots for Girl A. Girl A and this Boy C do not start dating yet, but do start talking often and hanging out. Problem is, this is a boy that Girl B has wanted for her own for a couple of years, but has had no success with. Girl A knows this, and even though there is no dating situation yet, on her MySpace page, she puts up a couple of pictures of herself hanging out with him (feel the salt in the wound?).

So, on Girl B's MySpace page, the original bombshell pictures reappeared overnight. Friend D has basically been declared persona non grata by Girl B and her posse, though they have all been friends with Friend D since grade school. Among the Miscellaneous Friends who have chosen not to abandon Friend D and are caught in the middle, there has been a noticeable drop in their poll numbers: Girl B has demoted them to further down on her "MyFriends" list on her MySpace page. This is apparently as noticeable a slight as Mr. Darcy's aloofness was early on in Pride and Prejudice.

My Male Bonding Buddy tells me next year he's going to walk around with a large hour glass so he can be ready on cue to declare, "Like sands through the hour glass, so are the days of our lives!"